It has been 13 years since my diagnosis of cancer, 12 years since my diagnosis of AS and the many other auto-immune diseases that go along with it. It was 12 years ago that I finally had to accept what was happening to me, to accept that would no longer be able to work full-time, and the job that I had for 27 years was over to accept that things will never be the same. Over the past 13 years there have been many challenges, struggles, low points in life, but there has always been one high point; there was Jesus. It is only by His grace that I am able to continue to function. I have had 16 surgeries over the last 13 years, with 2 very invasive surgeries this year with the last one on November 6th.
I am in my recovery and rehabilitation period and I always listen to music while I do my rehab. Once in a while a song will speak to me, but I don't often hear the lyrics correctly. As I was doing my rehab today, the song "There Was Jesus" by Zach Williams played and it has been one of my favorite songs to listen to. I like the melody, but there was something about the lyrics that I wasn't understanding. I went to YouTube to find a lyric video, and as I sat, listened and read they lyrics, the last 13 years literally ran through my mind. This song could be one I wrote, this song hit me directly and I have to admit I broke down sobbing as I read and listened and thanked God for His son who has walked with me during my time of struggle and pain.
I recalled the many days I've spent in bed recuperating from surgeries, the loneliness from being isolated during recovery, the months I had to use a wheel chair to get around, the loss of freedom and independence as I became dependent on others, the loss of my identity because I had allowed my job to be my identity, the loss of income, but there was always one thing that kept me going; there was Jesus.
For those who feel like their world is falling apart, that things cannot get any worse, you've lost a loved one or whatever your struggle may be, listen to this song, and remember - there is Jesus - and He is there to walk you through your valleys.
I have linked the lyric video below